As a child growing up, I made friends with other kids that I had things in common with – football, skateboarding, snooker, videogames. I also made friends with kids that lived close by, or I went to school with. These would be the friends that knocked on the door asking if I’d like to come out. We’d play games like “Kick the Can”, let one another ride each other’s bikes, or climb and jump off trees.
As I grew older, I came across and met more and more people. There were college friends, and university friends, and table tennis friends, and housemates, and Myspace friends. Once I graduated, there were work friends, New Zealand friends, Australia friends, Canada friends, and UK friends.
But in the end there are really only two types of friends – friends who want the best for you, and friends who don’t want the best for you.
Friends who want the best for you are your biggest cheerleaders. You can feel their love. They do nice things for you, and support you in your goals whatever they may be. The hold your hair when you throw up from drinking too much, and are the first to read your blog posts. They ask how your family are doing, and listen.
Friends who don’t want the best for you are the ones that explain why you won’t achieve your goals. They try to make you look bad in front of a group and disguise it as banter. They get a little bit giddy when you do something wrong or receive bad news.
It’s important once in a while to look at who you’re spending most of your time with. People who empower you to be the best and most fulfilled as you can be? Or those that are secretly hoping you screw up so that they feel a bit better about their own inadequacies?
Imagine if you were only friends with those people who wanted the best for you. There would be no-one holding you back, inhibiting you. In fact, everyone would be encouraging you, rooting for you with authenticity. They win if you win.
Peterson invites us to consider: If you have a friend that you would not recommend to your sister or your parents or your son, why would you have such a friend for yourself?
This post is for those in my life that want the best for me. I hope you know that I also want the best for you too.
Make friends with people who want the best for you.
2 thoughts on “Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules For Life Rule 3: Make Friends with People Who Want the Best For You”
Love this! I’ve never thought about whether I would recommend my friends to those I live, great insight 💙
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Really thought-provoking question!!