In every one of your relationships there is an imaginary emotional bank account, and it’s in a constant state of flux.
Whenever you spend quality time together, serve the relationship, listen to one another, and reach out, you are making deposits into the emotional bank account.
Whenever you fail to do what you said you’d do, forget to return a phone call, or deceive them, you are taking withdrawals out of the emotional bank account.
Think about your most important relationships: Are you making more deposits or are you making more withdrawals with them?
Neglecting to build on relationships can lead to emotional bankruptcy. You can lose relationships with people when you don’t tend to them or mistreat them. On the other hand, by nurturing your relationships and making frequent deposits, you will be rich in the love and joy you experience in your most important asset class – relationships.
The Go-Giver is a fable written by Bob Burg and John David Mann about a go-getter struggling to meet his quarterly target at work. He seeks the help of a mysterious man who connects him to people who have succeeded in the business world. He learns that being a self-motivated go-getter isn’t enough to succeed, and it’s making him unhappy at work as well as at home with his wife.
It’s only when he adopts a new approach to go-give, by proactively helping one of his competitors by giving him one of his prospects he couldn’t help himself – he ends up getting a big lead in return which helps him hit his quarterly target.
Being a go-getter is generally seen as a positive trait, especially in the world of work. But the whole purpose of business is to help people, and if we are only participating to help ourselves, it can lead to corruption, greed, or simply being ineffective. By switching to the mindset of giving and serving others, we not only get more in return since people will feel the need to repay you, you can also inspire others to use the same default mindset to give to others.