The Problem with Goals

I’m little wary about the idea of setting goals.

In a way, having goals makes us focus on what we lack, and it’s easy to link our happiness to the achievement of goals. But not all goals get achieved – in that case we postpone our happiness indefinitely.

In my first two years in door-to-door sales, I was encouraged to set sales and commission goals by my managers, so I did. Both years, I fell way short of the goal. Even though I did relatively well compared to my peers, and made two to four times the amount of money as I would have done had I stayed at my previous job, having that goal and missing it by so much was demoralizing.

In my third year of door-to-door sales – partly because of the uncertainty of the coronavirus pandemic – I didn’t set any sales or financial goals. In fact, I was almost certain that I wouldn’t beat the totals I had made the year before because our selling season was shortened. But, I ended up producing more than I had done the previous two years, in less than 60% of the time. Not only that, not having a goal made the whole process more enjoyable.

Don’t get me wrong, I still felt pressure to succeed – it was my first year managing a team and I was determined to show the new reps how the job could be done, as well as keeping our technician busy with work. Some may say, if I set a proper sales goal I may have achieved even more! Although I’m reluctant to agree with that, I can’t deny that it’s possible. Giving up having a goal in sales made it easier to do my job with the right principles – instead of focusing on getting a sale at all costs, I was focused on whether I was truly helping the person sitting in front me as my guiding principle.

It’s not that I didn’t set goals at all that year, it’s that I viewed them more like systems. I would decide how many days of the week I would be working, how many hours per day, when I would be going to sleep and waking up. Not only did I view them as systems, I focused on actions I could take instead of outcomes like sales since there was no way I could truly guarantee that someone else would say yes to my offering – there’s an element of luck involved with that.

Ageless: Andrew Steele’s Advice on How to Live Longer

Ageless is a book by science writer Andrew Steele. Most of the book goes into the physiology of how we age and how we can potentially stop that from happening.

In one of his final chapters he does have some recommendations on what we can do or not do to give ourselves a statistically better chance of living longer. Here they are:

  1. Don’t smoke. No real news here, smoking is really quite bad for you. If you’re under 30 and stop smoking, it’s likely that your life expectancy can recover back to normal. If you end up smoking most of your life, you can probably expect to take as much as ten years off your life compared to if you never smoked a single cigarette. Not only does smoking increase your chance of lung cancer, it also increases incidence of heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke and dementia – so basically all the main causes of death (apart from maybe a certain virus…). Smoking also makes you look older too, thinning the skin, causing baldness, wrinkles and greying hair.
  2. Don’t eat too much. I once heard that you age at the rate that you produce insulin – so basically at the rate that you eat. Steele sort of backs this up. Being obese can definitely shorten your life. But it’s actually visceral fat that’s the most dangerous – the fat that can build up around your organs that can screw with your physiology and health. Subcutaneous fat around your butt and legs are less dangerous. What this basically means is: Avoid a beer belly as much as possible, since that’s an indication that fat is building up around your innards. What you eat can matter too – there’s evidence for vegetarianism and eating fruit and vegetables being good for you (who knew?). Meanwhile, sugary, processed, fatty food and alcohol should probably be limited. To sum up, look in the mirror and see if you could do with losing some weight – it could extend your life.
  3. Get some exercise. I bet you’re learning tons of new stuff today! Yes, whenever we’ve been told that exercise is good for you, they were probably right. Both cardio and resistance training is good for longevity, and generally the sweet spot is about 30 minutes per day. There is some evidence suggesting that you can exercise too much, but that problem probably won’t be applicable to most.
  4. Get seven to eight hours of sleep a night. Data suggest that those that live longest sleep not too little and not too much. Even so, it’s hard to conclude that sleeping the right amount causes you to live longer, since there’s a chance that people who are more prone to sickness and illness have to sleep longer or have their sleep disrupted with pain or other symptoms. Nevertheless, sleep is a rejuvenative process for the body and especially the brain, so it probably should be treated with respect.
  5. Get vaccinated and wash your hands. Never before has this been better advice than right now, with people dropping like flies amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Usually we have to contend with the flu season which can leave us bed-bound for a few days each year – this is especially bad for the elderly who can even die from flu. That’s why vaccines are recommended to people over the age of 65, so they can be protected from infections that could wipe them out. There’s a case for the rest of the population to be vaccinated too, since flu in itself is a nasty illness that can wipe out health and productivity, and spread to unvaccinated people too. Infections like flu and HPV are implicated in other more serious diseases like heart disease, stroke, and cancer, so it makes sense to limit the number of infections that we have to overcome in our lives.
  6. Take care of your teeth. Steele highlights some research linking the lack of mouth hygiene with diseases as serious as dementia and heart disease. We’re not sure how or why this can be, but it’s a good excuse to brush effectively and frequently.
  7. Wear sunscreen. As annoying as it can be to apply, sunscreen can stop our skin from getting smashed by damaging ultraviolet rays from the sun, thereby preventing dangerous DNA mutations that could lead to cancer. Not only that, the sun can age our skin quicker by causing discolorations and wrinkles.
  8. Monitor your heart rate and blood pressure. High blood pressure can lead to events like stroke, heart disease and vascular dementia. The seriousness of these events mean that we should keep an eye on our blood pressure. Investing in a blood pressure cuff and periodically measuring our blood pressure is the only way we can know what our figures are, since there’s no other way of feeling that our blood pressure is high in the way that we can notice how fast our hearts are beating. Targets that we should aim for are blood pressures of less than 120/80 mmHg and around 60 beats per minute. The best way to lower these figures? You guessed it: Good diet and exercise.
  9. Don’t bother with supplements. As popular as they are, Steele doesn’t see the benefit of dietary supplements, and some like beta-carotene and Vitamin E could even increase the risk of mortality. It could be better to invest the money spent on supplements instead in a gym membership, or some healthier foods.
  10. Don’t bother with longevity drugs – yet. Most of the book covered treatments that are currently being developed to increase human longevity. But Steele advises not to seek out stem cells, metformin, rapamycin or low-dose aspirin just yet. Even though evidence from animal studies may look promising, in humans it could be different and as with taking any type of drug there are unwanted side-effects.
  11. Be a woman. Although there’s nothing you can really do about this, it’s true that women live longer than men on average. It might be due to men having fewer genes because of the slightly shortened Y chromosome, where women have two X chromosomes. Another possibility is that male sex hormones reduce lifespan – there have been observations that castrated males and eunuchs live much longer.

How to Fail and Still Win Big

Like anyone else before starting a commission-only job in sales, I questioned whether it was the right decision to try it. I’d had a few months experience of a lead generation job, but I’d never made a sale in anything in my whole working career to date.

So I played through a few outcomes in my head. What if I didn’t do very well? What if I made no sales? What if I came out with less earnings than if I just stayed in my current job working at the front desk of a hotel?

I came to the conclusion that it was reasonable that I would find the job very difficult, and there was a chance that some of those outcomes could indeed come true.

But even if I did “fail”, and earn less than what I would have had I stayed in my job at the time, in what areas would I still win? I would probably at least make a few friends, I would have travelled to new parts of the country, I would have learned at least a few transferable skills, and I would surely have practiced overcoming objection. Even if I made the slightly less money than before but still achieved the other things, I would still have counted that as a big win. At the very worst, I would potentially learn to never do a sales job again.

In the end, I did find it even harder than I thought it would be. There were whole workweeks where I didn’t get paid a single cent for my time and effort. At one point in the year, I went 20 working days without making a single sale – not a single commission. But overall, I had some better periods and I ended up making about 1.5x what I would have if I stayed in my hotel job.

What’s even better, as is the nature of commission-sales, I ended up getting better and better over time, meaning in my second year doing the job I ended up earning just over double of what I would have in the hotel. In my third year, I ended up earning about 5x what I would have in the hotel – I doubt the hotel would have given me a 4% increase in my pay within that time, let alone 400%!

The idea of putting yourself out there to potentially “fail” in order to still win big is sort of related to Robert Kiyosaki’s rule of “working to learn, not to earn”, but also can be applied outside of decisions at work too. Failing to hit a 45 minute goal for a 10 km run still means that you completed the race faster than the average runner, and you still get to reap the rewards of the fitness built up through weeks or months of training. Failing in a relationship, but coming out of it learning more about who you are or what kind of partner would suit you the best is still winning big in the long-term.

Which life situations have you flirted with failure and still won big?

Back to Square One or Back to Base Camp?

Failure is inevitable throughout life. But when failure occurs, we can sometimes think of giving up on our goals or go straight back to square one. But we don’t have to go all the way back to the start.

Instead, we can imagine it more as if we were climbing Mt. Everest and weren’t quite able to summit. Instead of going all the way down the villages at the foothills of the mountain, we can simply regroup at base camp. That way, we can stay acclimatized to the high altitude, and try again to reach the peak quickly instead of going all the way down the mountain, losing momentum and wasting energy.

When we pursue goals in life, we usually learn so many things on the journey that build on our skills, mindset and experience. Just like in mountaineering, we become acclimatized and fitter both physically and mentally. If we then fail, it doesn’t mean that all the development and progress has been completely lost – as long as we pick ourselves back up. If it’s really a worthwhile goal, have the resilience, grit, and determination not to go back to square one.

Be a Go-Giver, Not a Go-Getter

The Go-Giver is a fable written by Bob Burg and John David Mann about a go-getter struggling to meet his quarterly target at work. He seeks the help of a mysterious man who connects him to people who have succeeded in the business world. He learns that being a self-motivated go-getter isn’t enough to succeed, and it’s making him unhappy at work as well as at home with his wife.

It’s only when he adopts a new approach to go-give, by proactively helping one of his competitors by giving him one of his prospects he couldn’t help himself – he ends up getting a big lead in return which helps him hit his quarterly target.

Being a go-getter is generally seen as a positive trait, especially in the world of work. But the whole purpose of business is to help people, and if we are only participating to help ourselves, it can lead to corruption, greed, or simply being ineffective. By switching to the mindset of giving and serving others, we not only get more in return since people will feel the need to repay you, you can also inspire others to use the same default mindset to give to others.

Find Happiness in the Journey

Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle and the quest to achieve our goals in life, we give up feelings of satisfaction, contentment and happiness.

But the reason why we are trying to achieve the goals in the first place is, in one way or another, to be happy. Happiness that comes from externals is a false joy. Not that it doesn’t feel as intense – it just doesn’t last. This false joy always wants more – it’s greedy.

If we were to think of ourselves as mountaineers, how much of your life would be spent at the summit of a mountain, compared to all the time resting, preparing, training, and climbing? It’s the same thing if we were only to experience happiness once we have achieved a life goal. The joy of achieving would be fleeting.

The key is to find ways of enjoying the whole process of life, knowing that you will try your best to reach the summit, but not giving up the higher values of integrity, compassion, and happiness. Life is made up of moments, and only a small number of moments will be in real, tangible achievement. So accept the moments that come with appreciation of how far you’ve already come.

Lessons in Stoicism: The Illusion of Control, and How to Deal with Adversity

Lessons in Stoicism is a book written by John Sellars that introduces the Stoic school of philosophy made famous by Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus in the first and second century AD.

One of the main themes in Stoicism is the idea of control within one’s life. The Stoics asked themselves what they really control. The answer – the only thing we can control is our judgements. Although judgements are only a small part of the mind, the Stoics believed that because we can control our judgements, we are able to control what truly matters for our wellbeing.

So, if our happiness is based on our romantic relationships, career, possessions, appearance, or health, we are leaving our happiness in the control of external forces. Even though we can take actions to aid us to be successful in the categories above, we ultimately cannot control whether a partner loves us, whether a company hires us, whether possessions remain in our possession, and whether the body remains healthy. So make your goal simply to do the best you can.

Another tenet of the Stoic philosophy is how to deal with adversity in one’s life. Stoics believed that adversity is the stimulus that is needed to develop as a person, and that life wasn’t complete without facing any difficulties – that would be the real misfortune! Even so, the Stoics remind us not to seek out adversity and drama for the sake of it, it will happily come naturally in the timeline of our lives.

The Stoic philosophers practiced a technique called the premeditation of future evils. They thought about all the possible bad things that could happen in their lives – the death of a family member, loss of reputation and riches, loss of health etc. This may seem like a negative thing to do, but the Stoics found that when people avoided thinking of these setbacks, they were ill-equipped to deal with the reality of it when the time came. Entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk frequently thinks about what he would do if he found out his mother had died in a car accident – not only does it prepare for the probable event that his mother will die before him, it realigns him to what is truly important in his life.

Read more about Stoicism in some of Seneca’s most revered essays: On Tranquility of Mind, Consolation to Helvia, and On the Shortness of Life.

Practice Going First

I always say that I’ll go first… That means if I am checking out at the store, I’ll say hello first. If I am coming across somebody and make eye contact, I’ll smile first. Be first, because – not all times, but most times – it comes in your favor.

Gabrielle Reece

Sometimes we need to have the courage to go first. Think of all the friends and relationships you have made in your life. Did you go first? If not, you’ll be grateful that the other person decided to take the courage to put themselves out there for you.

Now think of all the possible ways in which you could go first going forward. If you work in sales, it could be actively prospecting instead of waiting by the phone for prospects to call you. Be the first to ask someone how their day is. Be the first to smile at someone when you walk past them. Your courage can turn into encouragement for others to pay that smile forward to the next stranger they walk past. Compassion has the potential to spread in this way, and it can all start from you going first.

What Door-to-Door Salespeople Would Say to Themselves if They Could Do It All Again

Working in door-to-door sales is always a rollercoaster of an experience. Almost everyone sucks to begin with, most people give up or get fired. Some people stick it out and get better and become very skilled at what they do.

So I recently asked a bunch of my friends who I’ve worked with doing door-to-door sales: If your current self could go back and talk to yourself before you started door-to-door sales, what would you tell him/her?

Here are the answers:

“Have some faith in yourself and others. Learn to be present in the moment and enjoy the process of the lows and highs. Shut your inside battles, the fear, the scarcity mindset. The best days of life as a D2D rep is when you are free-flowing, loving yourself, trusting others and yourself.”

“Believe in yourself because you can do more than you know and you deserve self-respect. Also attachment is an unnecessary stress. Money isn’t everything. Friends come and go. Sales go up and down. Focus on you and the rest will follow.”

“I would tell her focus on building yourself up, drink less, party less. Read all the books! Invest in yourself, and believe in yourself because you can be the best! Go young me!”

“Have more confidence with trying something you’ve never done before, even though the job sounds crazy as hell.”

“Be excited to be wrong, you were not born knowing how to do this profession.”

“Trust your instincts no matter what. Health is wealth. Continue growing even while you wander.”

“Trust your intuition.”

“Pay more attention to what you’re thinking and feeling than what you’re doing and saying.”

“Don’t be a follower, find your own way, find who you are and work on yourself for you and not for others.”

“This will be a journey of growth that will pay off in the long run. Effort and struggle must take place before you can become your best self.”

“Turn this into a career instead of a summer gig.”

“Think much bigger much faster and commit to mastery and being the hardest worker in the industry.”

“Work hard even when you don’t feel like it, don’t give up and settle for mediocrity.”

“Work harder.”

“Build a better system of habits – it’s important for success.”

“Try new things, find what you’re good at, focus on what you’re good at and repeat when things aren’t going as planned.”

“Study the sales system with more effort and read more door-to-door related books.”

“Enjoy the process, enjoy the people you’re working with, enjoy the people you get to meet. When you choose to enjoy the whole journey then sales will come, not the other way around.”

“Become more self-aware. Enjoy the moment.”

“No-one after you leave is going to remember you so give it everything.”

“Keep on top of every account and make sure you get paid correctly.”

“Don’t lend money.”

“Don’t do it.”

Although there was a surprising variation in the type of responses, there were some common themes of self-belief, trust in yourself, doing it as a career, working hard, and enjoying it as much as possible.

If you’ve done door-to-door sales, what would you tell yourself? Comment below!

The Dalai Lama’s Eight Pillars of Joy

At the end of the day, human beings just want to be happy. So how do we do it? The Dalai Lama tells us how in The Book of Joy.

Perspective: Take a step back and view your situation from a variety of angles. Reframe it positively. Understand that things that may seem difficult now will seem unimportant in a few years’ time. Shift from focusing on I and me and mine to we and us and ours. Move away from self-centeredness into viewing the world as interdependent.

Humility: Lose the labels and simply regard yourself as a fellow human being – one of seven billion. When we view each other as the same, we understand how much we have in common. Just like in nature, growth begins in the low places, and being humble means you are willing to learn. Thinking that you’re special leads to isolation and loneliness. Instead, think of yourself as essential. Humility isn’t the same as timidity – still take responsibility to use your gifts to help others and share with the world.

Humor: Laugh at yourself and don’t take yourself too seriously. It punctures your own sense of self-importance. Humor is an effective way of dealing with the anxiety and stress of uncertainty in life.

Acceptance: Let go of the expectations of how life should be and just accept what is. Let go of the attachment to a goal or method, because in the end we don’t control the result. Instead focus on doing your best.

Forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we accept or approve of wrongdoing, it’s choosing not to develop anger or hatred and remembering the humanity of the person doing wrong. Forgiveness is the only way to heal ourselves and be free from the past – until then, someone else will hold the keys to our happiness, and that person will be our jailor.

Gratitude: It’s easy to forget how much we can be grateful for, starting with the opportunity of simply being alive right now. Feeling gratitude simply makes us happy. It makes us accept reality and give thanks for everything that has led us to this point.

Compassion: This is probably the core of the Dalai Lama’s teachings. The more time you end up thinking of yourself, the more you suffer. Think of how you can bring joy to others, and as a by-product joy will appear for you. Compassion makes our heart healthy and happy. Wish for the happiness and joy in all sentient beings.

Generosity: They say money doesn’t bring happiness. But spending money on other people does. Being generous makes us happy. In giving, we receive happiness. Sit loosely with your wealth and status – we are simply stewards of these positions and possessions and be generous. But don’t view generosity as a burden, give with joy. That too, is a great gift.